I’ve got some sad news.  It made me think of something my son said the other day.  He was right, which is why I’m sharing it.

For those of you who follow me and watch my videos, you’ll know my beautiful little cat Missy.

She’s 23 and a big part of our lives.

We’ve now had to make the very sad decision that it’s time to put her down.

She’s been with us since my like boys were young.  She used to sit in the bathtub with them as a kitten, in water up to her neck.

She’d stand in the shower with us and loved getting her fur blow dried!

She used to sit in the car like a dog, with her head out the window.  I’d go and pick my husband up at the train station and people would think. Oh my God, that’s a cat in the car!  

The saddest part is that both our boys (now adults) are coming to see us at Christmas.  It will be the first time they’ve both been together with us at Christmas in a long time.  Usually, we get one or the other.

We were really hoping that Missy would be strong enough to hold on so they could say goodbye to her.  Sadly, it’s not meant to be.  She’s deaf, partially blind.  She has chronic kidney failure.  Yet, she’s a tough old thing.

Our vet calls her Lazarus, as she’s risen from what we thought was near-death many, many times.

She was found on the streets of HK as a tiny weeks-old kitten.   HK streets cats are survivors.  Their genetics gave her an inbuilt strong edge.

Now she’s losing the ability to walk and is a mere scrap of a thing.  It’s so sad.  The vet said we’d know when it’s time.  Sadly, we do.

As I enjoy her last days with me with lots of cuddles and tears, it made me think about something my son said to me the other day which I thought was beautiful.

We were talking about how I go on about the importance of finding self-love and being true to who you are and finding happiness within you and not relying on other people for that.

His response was:

The thing I hate about some self love gurus is that they give you the impression that unless you are happy all the time, you’ve failed.  Life’s not like that.  I have bad days and good days all the time.  The difference now is how I handle the bad ones.  It now gets easier each time.

He’s right.

That’s not what I’m espousing.

We all have tragedies to face like like what we’re going to face this Saturday. We all have days that are really tough.

We might get depressed, we might get down.  Life can be hard.  Life can deal these really difficult times we have to face.

But, if we have a strong sense of who we are, a lot of self-love, confidence and self-worth.  If we don’t look to others to fulfil us. Then what it gives us is strength and courage.

Inner peace

Inner strength and courage and a form of inner peace, so that when these really tough times come our way, we can draw on that.

It will see us through because all we have in this world to rely on is ourselves.

When you face these difficult traumas or tough days that we all have, if you are strong within yourself then you can dig deep.

You can say to yourself.

Life’s a marathon, not a sprint. I’m hitting mile 18 at the moment and it’s really tough, but I can keep going because I know who I am.  I and true to myself at all times.  I can find strength from within.

You just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Because you that, although this painful time was brought into your life, you will get through it.

Sometimes people say to me:

You have the most amazing life! 

I do.  But, I don’t want people to think that I’m perfect and I have this perfect life.  I don’t.

I have times like this sad one now.

Days where I just think: what am I  doing?

This inner voice in my head starts criticising me and planting seeds of self-doubt in me.

But, I do have inner strength now that comes from a higher level of self-worth and self-esteem than what I had when I was young.  I know who I am and who I want to be.

So, on those days, I now say to myself:

I’m having a hard day. I’m feeling self-doubt, but that is not who I am.

These feelings are not who I am. Sadness, grief, self-doubt are not who I am. They’re just feelings.

You have to let those feelings wash over you and try not to fear them. They will pass.

Instead, think: what can I learn from this?  How can I learn a lesson from this and become a better person from it? 

Obviously, there are times – like putting my cat down – in which there isn’t a lesson for me to learn.

But, what I can do instead of grieving and hurting is to dig deep to find the joy and gratitude that I’ve had this beautiful animal in our family’s life for 23 years.  She’s had a great life too.

She came to us from the streets of Hong Kong. Then she came with us to London, Shanghai and back home to Hong Kong again.

On Saturday when we say goodbye to our lovely Missy (who our boys named when she was little), I’m going to celebrate this beautiful little girl, who’s been such a big part of my life, and be grateful she found us.

I won’t dwell on the fact that now, aged 23, she’s just a shell of who she once was.  It’s not the girl we used to have.  What we are doing is giving her peace.

I thought I’d share this sad news to show you we all had sad times in our lives. Life can be hard.  Sometimes it does hurt and knock us down.

But, if we are whole within ourselves and have self-love, self-confidence and a strong sense of self-worth and true to the person we are deep inside, then we can get through these days.

If our happiness doesn’t depend on others and we don’t need anybody else, we can depend on ourselves and dig deep within.  We can get there and become stronger because of it.

On that note, I’m going to say goodbye to my beloved Missy and I hope you’ve enjoyed her cameos in my videos – interrupting them all the time with her loud screeching!

Not to forget the time that she bit my finger, which I thought it was quite funny as she’d never done that in her life!

Live every day as though it’s your last and find joy and beauty in it wherever you can.   Be grateful for it.

If you’re in any situation like an abusive relationship, or a job that you really hate, you know what?

Life is way too short.

Ask yourself:

How can you be true to you and live the best life that you can?

In memory of our Missy.