#MeToo. I’ve suffered sex harassment at work.
#MeToo. It started with the jokes. The ones with underlying sexual innuendo.
I didn’t find them funny. In fact, they made me uncomfortable.
But, I was young and in my first job as a television reporter on a high profile nightly news and current affairs show.
#MeToo
He was an experienced cameraman who’d been at the broadcaster for years. So, I laughed along with him and the rest of the team who joined in.
Besides, it’s was no different to what I had put up with in workplaces for years.
The jokes escalated to being more directed and of a personal nature. Innuendos about my sex life. How much I was up for it, how raunchy I might be. Still, I laughed along.
I felt instinctively that if I didn’t, it would be me who was judged for not being a ‘good sport’.
Back then the culture was predominantly a ‘boys will be boys’ one. To get ahead, a woman was pretty much expected to play along, be one of the boys to gain acceptance.
It didn’t cross my mind that his behaviour was inappropriate. After all, it was just the usual ‘office banter’ wasn’t it? I wouldn’t dare to report it either.
But, there was one Producer who wasn’t like that. I worked directly with him and he was a rock of support, particularly as I felt so green in my new on-air role.
So, I did my best to ignore the cameraman and get on with my job as best I could.
The contract was for one year, learning the ropes in a regional station, after which I’d return to the main broadcaster in my home city.
As the year progressed the cameraman’s behaviour graduated to him telling me he was annoyed with his almost-teenage daughter locking the bathroom door. He felt he had the right to walk in on her showering, at will.
He also joked how useful she was, as he made her fetch his beers, whenever he felt like one. This was when I started to feel queasy.
It culminated at my farewell party. I went outside for a cigarette and the cameraman followed me.
He lunged at me and shoved his hands up the pair of long shorts I was wearing, trying to grope me.
I reported him to my boss the next day. Not only for what he did to me, but for what he had told me about his daughter. That crossed the line for me.
I was told he’d be given a warning about his behaviour. Whether that ever happened, I have no idea.
#MeToo
When I said goodbye to the rest of my colleagues, the supportive Producer gave me a hug. He pulled me so tightly to him I could feel his entire body pressing against mine.
He held me for an uncomfortably long time. Then I felt his erection.
[bctt tweet=”I found out the hard way. Sexual harassers come in many different forms. ” username=”vivian_mcgrath”]
I was so shocked, I froze and said nothing.
To be honest, had I not been leaving this job, I’m not sure I would have reported the cameraman either. I feared a backlash against me. I was just starting out in my television career.
To hear that this culture still exists sadly, doesn’t surprise me. Those in positions of power still exploiting vulnerable others, who are trying to get their foot on the career ladder.
It was only when I got into a position of power myself that it stopped for me.
‘Locker Room’ talk
‘Locker room talk’ is still dismissed as harmless and predators, like Harvey Weinstein, are protected by those around him, enabling them to continue their vile behaviour.
There are no clear guidelines either as to what constitutes harassment or otherwise.
If you look at advertising, girls and women are bombarded with images and messages designed to make us feel bad about ourselves and be objects to men.
My advice would be: how does this behaviour make you feel?
Sex harassment – what to do?
Sexual harassment is conduct that you feel is inappropriate and behaviour that you do not welcome or feel comfortable with. If it happens to you what should you do about it?
Do you want to take it further? It’s a decision only you can make. I’m not here to victim blame someone who decides they are not ready to take this step. But if you are, then there are options.
Can you calmly confront the person whose behaviour is offensive? Perhaps they’re unaware that their conduct is unacceptable?
If not, then I would suggest writing a statement as soon as possible after any event and reporting it to your HR manager or a person in a position of power who has the duty to do something about it.
In the UK, you are legally protected from discrimination by the Equality Act 2010 and employers are obligated to abide by this.
The more we hold sexual predators or harassers to account, the greater chance this culture has of being stamped out.
However, I do know it’s one thing for an Employer to say they have workplace policies to deal with this. It’s another to take action against it.
Many do not walk their talk and so I can understand a reluctance to speak out.
It may be for example, a company so small the person harassing you is close to the one you’ll report them to. Or their behaviour so intimidating, you fear the repercussions of doing so.
In this case, you can report any unwarranted sexual discrimination externally.
If in the UK Contact (or the equivalent in your country):
The Equality Advisory Support Service
or talk to a trade union representative.
If you decide you’re not ready to speak out, at least talk to someone you trust, don’t suffer in silence.
And if you’re looking to join a new company, do your research. Ask them about their policies on this. Speak to current employees. Is this a culture you’ll feel comfortable working in?
Have you experienced sex harassment or bullying at work? How did you deal with it? Let me know in the comments below.
For other domestic abuse resources please find them here.
First published in Rivertribe magazine (UK)
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