Know you are good enough to create the life you dream

This is the first time I had ever told my story live on stage before an audience.

At the prestigious American Chamber of Commerce Women of Influence awards 2018, no less.

I was terrified.

I was allowed five minutes and 20 images to tell my story of how knowing and believing I am enough changed my life.

I love a good challenge!

How I was almost murdered by my ex and left a young, single mother.

How finding self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem allowed me to forge a successful career in television and find the love of my life.

How I created and now live the life I dream of and have become the person I was born to be.

I cried.  My husband cried.  Half the audience cried, then they all laughed along with me.

Many came to hug me afterwards and told me my story was their story.  Not necessarily the domestic violence part, but how they felt often felt the same as me.

Is my story your story too?

I am enough

• This was me on the night of my High School Prom.  I was 18, just finished school and had the world at my feet.   I felt beautiful that day.

• This is me just 3 years later.  It should have been the happiest day of my life.  But, I was 3 months pregnant and walking down the aisle with a man I knew I never should have married.

• I was 7 ½ months pregnant when he wrapped his hands around my throat and squeezed as tightly as he could, telling me to:

Die, you …. c***….  Die’!

• I heard a terrifying voice that was mine, but it wasn’t me.  A horror-film rasping sound squeezed out on my last breaths of air – begging for my life.

Please God, Please – I begged.  I’m not ready. I’m never going to see my unborn child.  

• Then a white tunnel of light then closed in on me.  I knew I was about to die.

• I didn’t die that day.  But it took me one year to finally find the courage to break free and leave for good.  I packed my baby boy and only what I could fit into my car and fled.

• I thought leaving an abusive relationship was the end of it.  It was just the beginning of a painful journey to recovery.

• I had to ask myself the difficult questions.  Why had I stayed when others would have run a mile?  Why did I ignore the red flags and warning signs that were there from the start?  I found a frightened little girl inside me.

• One who never felt good enough, that I deserved abuse and was unworthy of anything better.   I’m not alone.

• A Dove self-esteem study of more than 10,000 girls in 13 countries has revealed 7 in 10 young girls today don’t think they’re good enough.  This is a narrative that impacts our adult lives in many negative ways.

• Not feeling good enough leads us to put others’ needs first, at the expense of our own and into dysfunctional relationships.  We make bad choices and decisions based on fear.

• We fear vulnerability. We fear people will ‘find us out’ and reject us because of it. We people please to protect ourselves from anyone seeing who we really are.

• We say yes when we really want to say no. Our boundaries are weak and so others take advantage of us and push them down.

• But, this story we grow up to believe is just a story.  It doesn’t mean it’s true. You can rewrite it, change that negative internal script.  The power to create the life I wanted was there inside me all along.

• I realized I couldn’t control anyone or anything else around me. But, I could change ME.  If I nurtured that frightened little girl inside me and found self-love, then I’d heal.

• I woke up to the truth that I am enough. With a new high sense of self-esteem, I forged a successful career in TV and found the love of my life.  (Who is sitting right here with me today).

• This is me on my second wedding day.   His glasses are a bit smaller these days!  But, we’ve just celebrated 30 years! Knowing and believing I was good enough changed my life and is key to everything.

• It means loving yourself as much as you want others to love you. Having the self-confidence to say no when you deserve better and setting strong boundaries. It’s finding happiness within, no matter what.

• Put your needs first and ask yourself this question about every decision you make:  is this good enough for me?  True to my core values, beliefs and goals?

• Know that you are GOOD ENOUGH and you’ll feel powerful and happier than you’ve ever been. Love yourself enough to dare to create the limitless life you dream of and be the person you were born to be.