Emotional wounds are where the light enters you. That is so true as I found this out myself.
I want to share more of the 13th-century theologian and ancient poet Rumi’s beautiful words of wisdom.
His words are so simple, yet profound and sum up the philosophies I live my life by, even to this day.
Beliefs that changed my life after the pain of leaving an abusive relationship and starting my life over again as a young, single mother.
One of his is this:
“What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.”
Rumi
That was so true for me.
Emotional wounds
It’s natural to want to avoid pain because it hurts, right?
When I was in that abusive relationship I suppressed my emotions just to survive. Feeling them was way too painful and overwhelming.
When I finally found the courage to leave for good all those emotions flooded me.
My natural reaction was to run back to him because I knew if he gave me one more hug and told me he really did love me, the pain would go away.
But I knew this would be a temporary anaesthetic to the pain. Sooner, rather than later the cycle of abuse would start again.
I couldn’t take that anymore.
I also wanted a better life for my son and instinctively knew that I had to feel those painful feelings if I was to break that cycle and heal.
You might avoid pain through food, work, alcohol, obsessive exercise or just putting everyone else’s needs above your own.
But I’d like you to look at pain another way. Once I did this, it changed my life.
Emotional growth
Pain can lead to emotional growth and healing.
Somehow in those painful days after I fled with my baby, I knew I had to embrace those feelings that now threatened to overwhelm me and feel them.
I did that as best as I could. I let them come out.
I sobbed on the floor, curled up fetal, like a baby for days. I felt loneliness, fear, guilt, anger. Emotions I hadn’t felt in years poured out of me.
I said to myself:
It’s better feeling nothing at all
I thought:
These emotions are healing me, just roll with them. Let them wash over you, try to detach from them and observe them. Don’t be frightened of them. Just look at them and think, what are they saying? Why am I fearful Why am I so angry? What is this hurt telling me?
Rumi also says this.
These pains are your messengers.
Rumi
Emotional development
I’ve only just discovered Rumi, but somehow back then I came to this same conclusion.
Once I observed them, detached from them and listened to what they were telling me I found the frightened little girl inside me.
I never knew she was there.
I was seeing for the first time the shame I felt inside that I wasn’t good enough. I had insecurities and fear.
I was angry that my ex dared to hurt that little girl.
I felt sad that without his validation I felt worthless.
I realized that if I could nurture that frightened little girl inside me then I’d heal.
If I could find self-love, self-esteem and the self-confidence to say no when I deserved better, then I could change mine and my son’s future.
That is exactly what I did.
Soul healing
Emotional growth means embracing ALL of you.
Embrace pain, don’t run from it or try to avoid it. Work your way through it. Seek professional help to do so if you need to.
Own your story, even if part of your story is painful.
Difficult times are a part of life. We’re not all happy-clappy all of the time, all of our life.
There are great days then are tough days and at times, there are painful days.
Don’t run from that pain. Don’t avoid it. Embrace it. Let it be your messenger.
Feel it, listen to it and let it tell you what you need to hear.
What is the lesson you need to learn about yourself?
Spiritual growth
Life is also a mirror.
Sometimes the pain comes in the form of the person who hurts us. They say things that are hurtful.
Sometimes the things you don’t like about other people are things you don’t like in yourself.
That hurtful person might be holding up a mirror to you teach you something you need to learn about yourself.
Rumi has got lots of these soul healing quotes and I love them. Here’s another one:
Don’t get lost in your pain. Know that one day your pain will become your cure
Rumi
My pain became my cure.
Every time I feel pain, I allow it to heal me, cure me and make me grow.
I grow from the lessons I’ve learnt. I become closer to and more aligned with my true self.
The closer you are to your true self, the better you get at allowing painful feelings to wash over you.
You know that emotional growth comes from embracing emotional wounds. That is where the light enters you.
The stronger you get, the more you learn about yourself, the greater your self-esteem and your confidence builds.
It might feel like you’re in the blackest of tunnels right now if you’re going through a lot of pain, grief and hurt at the moment.
Don’t run from it. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going because you will be walking towards the light and your healing.
I’m going to leave you with these final Rumi quotes:
In the blackest of moments wait with no fear
Rumi
And another one:
Be patient. Where you sit in the dark the dawn is coming.
Rumi
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